M: My guest today–for my sins–is Bud Blossom, restaurateur.

B: Let’s snap it up today. I’m a busy man.

M: Fine. Are people surprised you speak such good English?

B: Yeah, especially hicks.

M: Thank you.

B: Oooh, Miss Frosty! Who said I was talking about you? If the clodhopper fits, wear it.

M: Less grin, more talk.

B: Okay, yeah, people think because I look Chinese I must be all “You likee eat, me servee good chow, chop-chop.” [snorts]

M: And then there’s your name.

B: It’s translated from the Chinese, Miss Bitter Battlemaiden.

M: What did you call me?

B: That’s what Marian Lois means. Like it?

M: It sounds tougher than Bud Blossom.

B: Names can be deceiving.

M: …Yes…. …Well…. And, yet, your employees seem devoted to you.

B: The ones I don’t fire their asses.

M: What gets an employee fired?

B: Ditching shifts. Slacking.

M: Letting the other employees down, basically.

B: Letting me down. It’s all about me.

M: Okay, fine. You want to pitch the book today?

B: Buy THE KING OF CHEROKEE CREEK. It isn’t all about me, but enough of it is that it’s worth a measly buck-forty-nine.

M: …Thanks, Bud– Oh, he’s gone. Fine. Click here to read excerpts of the stories in Bud’s collection and for links to the book on Amazon and Smashwords.

Thank God that’s over. This thing isn’t still on, is it?

MA

writing prompt: Interview a character you’re not sure you’d like to know in real life–one of your own or someone else’s.