Ah, the life of a writer! If you get mad at somebody, you can kill that person. And you can repeat that pleasure as often as you like.

COURTING DISASTER
by Marian Allen

As I leave the courthouse, I hear my freshly ex snarl at his shark of a lawyer: “You did a crap job.”

“You’re a crap client.”

They climb into their sportscars and jockey for position, neck and neck on the one-way out of town.

Wonder which will be first to lose a wheel from the barely-there lug nuts my Bobby loosened during the hearing.

LEARNING CURVE
by Marian Allen

I read this Stephen King book where this creepy guy’s wife shoves him down a dry well, but he climbs up and comes after her.

That’s why I suggested we bring a picnic and a heavy blanket. I can wait right here — all night, if I have to — and I got a friend called Mr. Two-by-Four that says what comes up must go down.

Grandpa was right — You read, you learn something.

MR. FIXIT
by Marian Allen

I say to my client, “So your wife won’t follow your orders. Talks back.”

“Yeah. To me, that means she doesn’t love me. It hurts real bad.”

“And you want me to make this pain go away.”

“Yeah.”

“Got the fee? Cash?”

He puts it on the table.

He’s now pain-free. He cried when I shot him, but now he’s pain-free.

TOO LITTLE AND TOO LATE
by Marian Allen

AFTER I shot him

AFTER he shot me

AFTER he died

AFTER I knew I was a goner

THEN I asked myself whether he really said what Deedee told me he said about me.

WRITING PROMPT: Who does your main character fantasize about doing away with?

MA