Dateline Our House — New charges have been filed against the notorious Katya Greymalkin, shown in the accompanying picture.
Householder Charles Allen was making a routine inspection of his property when he came upon a shocking sight.
“It’s disgusting,” Allen said. “I looked, and I said to myself, ‘Why are some one color and some a different color?’ Then I smelled them, and I knew why.”
Allen was speaking of the potatoes he had brought in from the garden and spread on the floor to dry before storage. Following her usual modus operandi, Greymalkin had come upon the unguarded tubers and urinated on them.
“You buy them,” Allen told our reporter, “you plant them, you water them, you weed them, you dig them … and then this.”
When contacted for a statement, Greymalkin shouted, “Piss on ALL the things!”
Her lawyer quickly shut the door in our reporter’s face and replied, “No comment,” to questions slipped through the letter slot.
Stay tuned to this blog for further updates as they happen.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What is the most inappropriate place your main character has ever urinated?