It’s the first of the month, so I’ve posted a new Hot Flash for you. This one is science fiction. January’s was Steampunk, but I don’t think that marks a trend for the year.

This being February, I must again recommend Gilbert and Sullivan’s THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE, particularly the version with Kevin Kline in tight pants as The Pirate King and Angela Lansbury as Little Ruth. Be sure to watch past Frederic’s mewling and whining to get to the good bit.

In case you can’t play the video, here are the lyrics:

Ruth: When you had left our pirate fold,
We tried to raise our spirits faint,
According to our customs old,
With quips and quibbles quaint.
But all in vain the quips we heard,
We layed and sobbed upon the rocks,
Until to somebody occurred
A startling paradox.
Frederic: A paradox?
Ruth: A paradox,
A most ingenious paradox!
We’ve quips and quibbles heard in flocks,
But none to beat this paradox!

All: A paradox, a paradox,
A most ingenious paradox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
This paradox.

King: We knew your taste for curious quips,
For cranks and contradictions queer;
And with the laughter on our lips,
We wished you there to hear.
We said, “If we could tell it him,
How Frederic would the joke enjoy!”
And so we’ve risked both life and limb
To tell it to our boy.
Frederic: A paradox?
King: A paradox,
This most ingenious paradox!
We’ve quips and quibbles heard in flocks,
But none to beat this paradox!

All: A paradox, a paradox,
A most ingenious paradox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
This paradox.

King(chanting):
For some ridiculous reason, to which, however, I’ve no desire to be disloyal,
Some person in authority, I don’t know who, very likely the Astronomer Royal,
Has decided that, although for such a beastly month as February,
twenty-eight days as a rule are plenty,
One year in every four his days shall be reckoned as nine and twenty.
Through some singular coincidence – I shouldn’t be surprised if it were owing to the agency of an ill-natured fairy –
You are the victim of this clumsy arrangement, having been born in leap-year, on the twenty-ninth of February;
And so, by a simple arithmetical process, you’ll easily discover,
That though you’ve lived twenty-one years, yet, if we go by birthdays,
you’re only five,
and a little bit over!

Ruth & King: Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Ho! ho! ho! ho!

Frederic: Dear me! Let’s see! Yes, yes; With yours my figures do agree!

Ruth & King:
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Frederic:
How quaint the ways of Paradox!
At common sense she gaily mocks!
Though counting in the usual way,
Is twenty-one I’ve been alive.
Yet, reckoning by my natal day,
Yet, reckoning by my natal day,
I am a little boy of five!

Ruth & King:
He is a little boy of five!

All:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
A paradox, a paradox,
A most ingenious paradox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
A paradox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
A curious paradox,
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
A most ingenious paradox.

You’re welcome.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write a character who adores February.

MA