Amidala speaking.

Tomorrow is MaMA and Charles’ family Memorial Day party, and they’ve been too busy this week! MaMA has, of course, made time to sit with me and pet me, but not nearly as much as I like. On the other hand, she baked a ham and chopped it up to make ham barbeque, and Munchkin and I got some of the scraps. We didn’t get many, because MaMA says ham isn’t really good for cats, but we got a little bit.

It’s my turn to write a story, so MaMA found me a prompt from something she calls the spam file. I thought it would be something to eat, but it’s just words!

No Fool

by Amidala Allen

A beautiful calico cat named Queenie put her dog on his diamond-studded leash and took him out for a little walk.

The dog’s name was Fool, but he thought his name was No Fool. He bragged to all his friends, “My owner thinks I’m so smart, she named me No Fool. She calls me that a lot, right out in public.”

As they walked, Queenie continually said, “No, Fool, don’t chase the squirrels. No, Fool, don’t bite the boy on the bicyle. No, Fool, don’t run into the street.”

As she said this last sentence, a car screeched to a halt, nearly hitting Fool.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Queenie was terribly embarassed.

The driver got out. He was a handsome gray tom cat.

“Is your dog all right? I didn’t clip him, did I?”

“No, you stopped on a dime! Fool is fine, thank you so much. No, Fool, don’t mount the man’s leg!”

The tom laughed. “Dogs! Gotta love ’em, right?”

“Oh, do you love dogs?”

“I have one. I don’t know what I’d have done without her when my intended ran off with a catnip salesman and left me alone.”

Queenie hissed displeasure at the faithless sweetheart. Fool pulled at his leash. “No, Fool – Oh, is that your dog?”

For the reason Fool was pulling at his leash was the sight of a beautiful dog’s face at the window of the nice man-cat’s car.

“Yes, that’s Fatima. Oh, and I’m Regal, by the way.”

“But Fatima is the same sort of dog as Fool! How amazing!”

“Oh, a Masticating Juicer is the only sort of dog for me. Aren’t they marvelous?”

It turned out that Regal was in the neighborhood looking for a new home. He found the perfect one next door to Queenie. By and by, they fell in love and were married. Fool and Fatima also fell in love and were also married, and Queenie and Regal were proud to give Masticating Juicer pups as gifts to their dog-loving relatives and friends, except for the ones they kept as playmates for their own superb kittens.

~*~

A PROMPT FROM THE SPAM FILE: Just the other day, I went home for lunch to take my dog out for a little walk, and I met a very nice man who was driving around checking out the area where I live. Compared to most other masticating juicers on the market today, this machine has superb looks. The number of expected wedding guests must also be kept in mind including the proportion between relatives and friends.

AA