Each year’s Hot Flashes–between 2002 and 2007, at any rate–has a Cafe Press store. Visit the Shop link on this web site to find out more.

January

The Edge

The old stray tom sits on the curb, chewing ice from between his pads.

Around the corner, a woman begins the turn that will save both their lives.

February

Bombardment

“Incoming!” White death wallops my head, my shoulders.

After we warm up and have cocoa, I bet I kill him.

Then maybe we’ll make snow angels.

March

Morning

Rattle of plates. Clack of the toaster; scrape of knife spreading butter.

I hope I’m getting all this. Fellow ghost-hunters, do you copy?

April

Postal

I do hate a fuss.

I opened the envelope and it sort of popped. White powder all over me, all over my desk. Sirens, hazmat suits.

Such a fuss!

May

Sign

“Out to lunch? I’m a customer. Open up.”

“I don’t work here.”

“Ha, ha. Open up.”

“I don’t work here.”

“Open!”

Brick through glass.

“There. Open.”

I guess she really doesn’t work here.

June

Unbridled

“Any regrets?”

“No.”

“You’d do it again?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“Me, too.”

We clink glasses, celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of the day we didn’t get married.

July

Independence Day

Bang! Sparks! Explosion!

I clap and cheer as his car illuminates the cliff’s base, but stop long before the police come to give me the bad news of his death.

August

Heat Wave

They called me Ice Princess in school. Said my legs were glued together.

His eyes are like hot caramel; his voice smoulders.

What’s the melting point of glue?

September

Learning Curve

Mom taught me, “Look folks in the eye. Give them a firm handshake and talk straight. These are signs of an honest man.”

I owe my success as a con artist to her. Thanks, Mom!

October

Autumn Dream

The sky is as blue as in a Maxfield Parrish painting, the light as brilliant, the leaves as vivid.

From the corner of my eye, I glimpse a massive face, staring.

Then a huge hand turns the page.

November

Turkey In The Straw

When Jimmy run off with Cindy, I thought I’d never see him again.

Then he come back.

Now nobody’ll never see him again.

Don’t that alfalfa grow good over in that corner, there?

December

Wish Fulfillment

I’m getting’ everything I want for Christmas.

Gave myself an early present of guns and ammo. Now comes everything else.

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Go to the Flashbacks link for all years’ Hot Flashes.