Guest Post by Floyd Hyatt – Humor – Club Uniform

Floyd wants you to know that this doesn’t represent ANY group of which he is a member, has ever been a member, knows a member, or will ever be a member. So now you know. πŸ˜‰ I must say, though, that it sounds like he’s eavesdropped on a Southern Indiana Writers Group meeting or two.

by F. A. Hyatt

Alex, today’s President-By-Default, banged the desk with his favorite multipurpose coffee mug/gavel/paperweight.

β€œOrder! Order!”

He noted with satisfaction at least three members looking up from their manuscripts. Plus, almost a real quorum of writers had shown up this time. It was possible that a tentative resolution might get discussed, if not actually voted on and passed. Over all, he was pleased.

Carol blinked at his empty gavel. β€œAre you out of coffee, Alex?”

“No. Well, yes, but I can’t fill my mug until I’ve brought the meeting to Order.”

“Oh. Club rule?”

“I’d spill it.”

“When do we swap critiques?”

“In a bit, there’s some business first.”

“Can you just get on with it?” David groused crossly, β€œI skipped a blog tour for this. Why couldn’t we have had this Pow-Wow online instead?”

Alex looked uncomfortable. β€œBecause we were to look at ideas for Club uniforms. We texted about that earlier. Marc had some designs to share.”

“I wasn’t part of that!”

“Ah. It’s text – online. In your mailbox. Two weeks ago? Anyway, Marc-”

Josie raised her hand, so Alex interrupted himself, nodding at her. β€œYes?”

“There’s our Tee-shirt logo online, why not just make some tees up?”

“Not all of us are comfortable with that idea,” sneered Carol. She nodded toward Donald, whose chest slopped down onto a ski ramp midriff, and poked a finger towards Arline whose weight, in her middle age, was prone to accumulating across the chest.

“Why this interest in uniforms at all?” piped John, finally looking up from scribbling notes on the short story he had brought.

“There’s that Convention? Door prize of 500 bucks and two free full seminar scholarships for the first club attending with all members in uniform? Since it’s right here in town, -We all decided we could attend, and…”

“Bah! Marc didn’t even show up. Anyway, we don’t have a club uniform. We’re an online group. Define uniform, in our context,” bawled Floyd.

Alex thought for a moment. β€œErm, that’s an idea, actually. How about we define the club uniform in the Charter as what we normally wear while writing? Then we can claim the prize without all this fuss!”

“I write in my briefs,” piped Reginald.

“Bathrobe,” interjected Carroll.

“Ditto,” snickered Marc.

“Just whatever I have on from work– I write soon as I get home,” mused David.

“Mah Teddy,” drawled Darla, the romance writer of the group. She produced a languid, sly grin, batting her eyes at Alex.

Alex blinked.

“Motion seconded,” howled John, β€œLets pass on this so we can get on to our Crits!”

“I don’t think…”

“Motion passed, whatever it was,” waved Susan, just now putting away her cell phone. β€œCan we get on with the crits now? I have to pick up my son from soccer in an hour. Next time just use the site posts to discuss this stuff, Alex. You know writers can’t be bothered with anything not in print.”

He claims this is fiction. What do you think?

WRITING PROMPT: Write the same basic three-line paragraph in the style of each of these writers.



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Guest Post by Floyd Hyatt – Humor – Club Uniform

  1. Dani G.

    December 19, 2011 at 12:19pm

    Hahaha. Too funny. And maybe a bit too true. LOL.

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  2. Jane

    December 20, 2011 at 10:02am

    Or like herding cats. Though come to think of it, I had a cat who could herd cats, and often did. His name was Rory.

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      December 20, 2011 at 10:40am

      RORY! The Cat of All Cats! πŸ™‚ It takes a cat to herd a cat, right?

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply

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