I told Charlie we needed a dog. When Joe started to get old, I said to him (Charlie, not the dog), “We’d better get another dog.”
“No more dogs,” he says. “They bark all the time. They dig holes everywhere. If the riding mower hits a hole on one of these hills, it could tump* over on me and kill me. If you’d rather have a dog, I guess I can’t stop you.”
Well, when he put it like that….
So now we have no dog, and our next-door-daughter’s dog has to do all the barking and digging for no extra pay. And the wildlife is closing in. 
The other day, Bambi’s uncle was up in the front yard.
I went to take a picture of his white tail as he bounded away — and he didn’t bound away. He just stood there looking at me. After a while, he got tired of the paparazzi and strolled back into the woods, probably shedding ticks like a stripper sheds sequins.
I told our #4 Daughter we’ll probably have Thumper kicking the door in, demanding carrots with menaces.
Deer and rabbits are vegetarians, right?
*tump: (verb) colloq. A combination of turn and dump. Ex. The dang wheelbarra tumped over and all the turnips fell out!
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character is forced to live in closer proximity to wildlife than is really comfortable. Yes, I’ve both read and seen LIFE OF PI. 🙂
MA
Karen Casey Fitzjerrell
September 25, 2013 at 8:13amBy gosh, it does this Texan good to hear someone else use the word “tump”as in “to turn over, or fall over.” The dictionary has it all wrong. Years back a Houston news anchor got into a long and interesting discussion about where the word came from. He had never heard it used as Texans use it…so I’m wondering. I noticed you had a red star over it. Do Kentuckians use the word? Surely not in Indiana —way too far north. And yes….deer are vegetarians but the bucks can be quite dangerous in rut. YIKES>
Marian Allen
September 25, 2013 at 9:26amWe used it in Kentucky. We still use it, now that we live in Indiana, so technically it’s used in Indiana. 😉 I’m not sure how far north it goes, as we actually live south of Louisville, Kentucky, since the Indiana/Kentucky border follows the Ohio River southwest.
Jane
September 25, 2013 at 11:37amOur little visitor right now is a nice big squirrel. He keeps coming up onto the front porch, whether the resident cats are there or not, and climbing around looking for stuff. He found the watering can (not a real can) and is now drinking out of it whenever the thirst hits him. Oh, and he came right up when I was sitting there meditating on the meaning of Life, and he looked me over and headed for the water. I would have to say he is not SHY. 😉
Do you think “tup it over” might be a variation?
Marian Allen
September 25, 2013 at 12:30pmLi’l stinker! I remember the squirrels on UofL campus used to carry switchblades and swag bags.
Jane
September 26, 2013 at 8:43amYes, it was a stone trip to look up from a book and see them closing in on your bench from all directions at once. Yikes! And me with no food!!!
Marian Allen
September 26, 2013 at 9:22amDid they whistle the Jets theme from West Side Story? Snap their little fingers? They scared me!
Jane
September 27, 2013 at 8:49amMaybe they snapped their little teeth??
Marian Allen
September 27, 2013 at 8:56amEeeeeee!