Why in the name of hand-made hell did I take a picture of pruning shears for a prompt? ~sigh~ My muse has some heavy lifting to do this morning. I just hope she isn’t out drinking with my guardian angel.

Here goes nothin’.

From The Book Of First Bambi

by Marian Allen

1. In the land of Corydon, there dwelt a man who kept a garden.

2. He had a dog who rolled and dug in the freshly turned earth, and the man cursed him roundly.

3. He had tomato plants and kale and cabbage and asparagus, and insects did eat them and lay eggs between their leaves, and he cursed the insects.

4. He had strawberries and beans, and rabbits did eat the plants, lo, even down to the soil line, and the man cursed the rabbits.

5. He had cucumbers and squash, and turtles did eat them, and he cursed the turtles.

6. He had blueberries, and deer did come up, yea, even within sight of the dog, and ate the blossoms off, and the man cursed the dear.

7. He also cursed the dog again, for good measure.

8. Now, the man had a pair of pruning shears, which he used to trim off any dead or unproductive plant growth, or any bit he termed “a sucker,” which drew energy from the part of the plant he wanted to be strong.

9. One day, he put the shears down and went inside for tea and got a phone call during which he and his friend would have solved all the problems of the world, if only the people in power had taken their advice,

10. Then he remembered he needed to paint the porch,

11. Then he decided to strip and re-wax the kitchen floor,

12. Then he turned on some music and took a nap.

13. When he went back to work, he had forgotten where he put the shears and he never found them again.

14. And centuries passed, and men and the children of men walked no more upon the earth.

15. Nor their little dogs, either.

16. Ungulants and lagomorphs developed opposable thumbs and worked side-by-side in the garden.

17. And they cursed the insects and the turtles.

18. And the God of Irony looked down, and saw that it was good.

AMEN

There used to be a stripper in Louisville who went by the name of Bambi Deer. I guess nobody ever told her that Bambi was a boy.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A tool is misplaced or lost.

MA