Bun Pincher #FoundPoem

My Mom was in the horsepistol this weekend, so I didn’t play much Minecraft. She’s home, now. The doc said what I thought was some kind of fit was a fainting spell. Caused by they don’t know what. All her tests came back great — which is A Good Thing — but leaves her with a diagnosis of vasovagal syncope, which means she faints sometimes.

Most people do, but some people are more prone to it than other people. Apparently, my Mom is like one of those fainting goats that keel over every time you look at ’em cross-eyed. Guess I’ll have to stop looking at her cross-eyed.

ANYWAY, I have to get her fitted with a 30-day heart monitor, just to make for certain sure it isn’t a Serious Thing, so that’s next on the agenda.

Meanwhile, I can usually count on my fellow Corydonions to supply me with blog material. Here’s another transcription from the local paper’s call-in line, which I have typed just as it’s printed but reformatted as a poem.

Bun Pincher

by Anonymous Caller

This is an important issue
that effects all Harrison Countians.
There is a
hot-dog bun pincher
at (the grocery).
Every time I get
hot-dog buns (there),
my buns have been pinched
and I’m not going to take it anymore. …


Sometimes I think the callers aren’t taking this service seriously.

I’m posting at Fatal Foodies today on the topic of why pink lemonade is pink.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Someone pinches your character’s buns — in any sense you choose.




I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Bun Pincher #FoundPoem

  1. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    June 20, 2017 at 5:12pm

    How frustrating for you and your mom. Hope she is feeling better, and I wonder what she’s supposed to DO with that diagnosis?

    My assistant keeled over at work last week, and scared the heck out of her boss (though the company got a good workout for its response systems, and apparently performed well; she got to watch the CCTV later and said it was weird to watch herself collapse).

    Never fainted, myself, so I have no idea what I’d do. Have you?

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      June 21, 2017 at 8:15am

      I was discussing that with #4 Daughter last night, who is a stress fainter, and I’ve decided I probably HAVE fainted, but for no more than a second or less, so I didn’t lose consciousness long enough to even really know it. It just felt like light-headedness and a long blink.

      Mom goes to her regular doctor tomorrow to get a 30-day heart monitor, but there’s really nothing to do with that diagnosis. People faint sometimes: that seems to be the result of our hospital stay.

      I hope your assistant is okay. Was it vasovagal syncope? Tell her to take care of herself. Any assistant of yours is a friend of mine.

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  2. Dan Antion

    June 20, 2017 at 5:40pm

    I’ve had my buns pinched, but I’ve never been able to see pinch marks after getting home. Oh, hot dog buns, oh, I get it.

    I hope your mom is able to manage through the healthcare / medical issue maze.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      June 21, 2017 at 8:25am

      “I’ve had my buns pinched, but I’ve never been able to see pinch marks after getting home. Oh, hot dog buns, oh, I get it.” — Thanks, Dan, that laugh felt good! 😀

      We’re lucky to have nice folks around here who are helpful rather than obstructive. And Mom doesn’t have to manage anything. As she has always said, “What do you think I had YOU for?” lol

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  3. joey

    June 20, 2017 at 6:57pm

    Well I can’t say I like pinched buns or bread of any sort, thank you very much. When I lived in Georgia, they had this way of SLAMMING produce down to the bagging area, made me gasp!

    That’s a bad deal about your mom, I hope it’s not a Serious Thing. I used to faint quite a bit in high school, low blood sugar, they thought. Yeah, they “thought”. Inconclusive. Fainting is weird and disorienting. Do not recommend. I hope your mom grows out of it like I did. *knocks wood*

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      June 21, 2017 at 8:28am

      Mom DID grow out of her teen years fainting, but apparently she’s taken it up again. :/ Her regular doctor will sort it out, if it’s sortable. She (Mom’s regular doc) is NOT one who says things like, “We have to expect things like this at your age.” Yes, my grandma had a doctor like that. Briefly. Then I found her this one, who actually cares and enjoys thinking outside the box.

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      • joey

        June 21, 2017 at 11:55am

        Good! You remember that post Alicia wrote about “Don’t let them treat you with old lady medicine?” I took that VERY seriously.

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        • Author

          Marian Allen

          June 21, 2017 at 4:21pm

          I do remember. It made me think of my grandma and that awful doctor. We got a good’un now!

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