We met the summer between junior high and high school. We roomed together in college. We critiqued each other’s writing. We kept in touch by phone, then by letter, then by email. Once a month, I drove over to Louisville to have coffee, lunch, and beer with her. She was my most loyal and prolific commenter here on the blog. She painted this to test out some new paints, then threw it away. I rescued it.
She introduced me to Beethoven’s Violin Concerto, Georgette Heyer’s Regency novels, Alice Cooper, Alice’s Restaurant, science fiction conventions, the Society for Creative Anachronism, and craft beer.
She got cancer. Had it removed. Decided against follow-up chemo. Her July scan was clear. Her September scan showed her too advanced for surgery, too advanced for any intervention. Yesterday, she died at home, with her brother Jimmy at her side. I had talked to her Friday and was going to visit her again tomorrow.
She’s gone.
I’ve been holding her troubles in my heart, not wanting to dump my angst into the already angst-ridden pool of the internet, but today I just want you to know why I’ve been neglecting visiting and commenting on my blog-buddies’ posts, and being generally terse.
This blog may go dark for a week or maybe not. Tipper may keep things going on Caturday. Maybe I’ll be back on track tomorrow.
Jane was fine with shuffling off this mortal coil. She was all, “I was going to have to think about knee replacement surgery. Now I don’t!” and “Hey! I never have to go to the dentist again!” and “I’ve always been afraid of Alzheimer’s. I get to miss that!” She kept apologizing to me because she was really okay with going, but she knew I’d be lonely without her. How could I not miss a person like that?
Here’s to my bestie. She will be sorely missed.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Forget writing today. Cherish a friend.
MA
Tony Acree
October 15, 2017 at 9:04amIf she were to comment on THIS blog post, I am sure it would be a comment with the richness of the painting you rescued: insightful, vibrant and full of color. It is not possible to have written a more moving tribute to a dear friend. We all grieve with your loss yet celebrate the wonderful tapestry her life-long friendship wove for you.
Marian Allen
October 15, 2017 at 10:47amThank you, Tony. You help heal my heart.
Leslea
October 15, 2017 at 1:40pmI’m so sorry, Marian. She was obviously amazing. ((((((Hugs))))))
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:40amThanks, Red. Amazing and just totally swell. Thanks for the hug. ((((((Hugs back))))))
joey
October 15, 2017 at 1:50pmOH I’m so sorry. 🙁 So very sorry.
I love you kept that painting. There’s value in that — I wish she’d seen it as we do.
Take all the time you need, but don’t isolate yourself with grief. Sending you lots of love and light. ((((BIIIIIG HUUUUGS))))
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:42amThank you, Joey. She was so talented in so many ways. And she accomplished so little with it, because she never thought it was good enough. She just kept practicing, you know? But she sure enjoyed practicing and learning new stuff.
joey
October 16, 2017 at 9:10am*nods*
If you ever need to talk, Marian, I just want you to know I’ll listen.
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 11:45amThanks, honey, I know. <3 Can’t talk much now because cry. I’ll write it out. Mr. Facial Tissue is my bestie at the moment.
joey
October 16, 2017 at 12:01pmUnderstood. Of course.
Pete Laberge
October 15, 2017 at 2:06pmShe sounds like she was awesome. My great condolences. I am glad you were there for her. I feel sorry never to have met this person. Maybe someday you will feel up to telling us more about your adventures. And I simply LOVE that painting. I’d love a good pic of it. Do not forget Jane. Keep her in your heart. LLAP. Take Care.
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:51amDear Pete, I will NEVER forget Jane. She’s such a large part of my life. She was my Star Trek buddy, among all other things. I’m emailing you a larger scan of the picture. It makes a great laptop wallpaper. 🙂
Andrea
October 15, 2017 at 5:37pmI am so sorry. -fierce hug-
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:52amThank you, my dear. -hug back-
ROY A ACKERMAN, PhD, EA
October 15, 2017 at 9:23pmSo sorry for you. Keep the memories close.
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:52amThank you, Roy. The memories will never be far, because they go so deep.
Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt
October 15, 2017 at 9:42pmI tried sending you a direct email, to the ‘Reply to’ link in YOUR emails, and it said it’s not deliverable.
Your contact form doesn’t work.
I’m at, among others, abehrhardt [at] gmail. Could you send me one so I can reply?
Thanks.
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 8:54amI can’t seem to get a contact form to work anymore, not even the one that came with this theme. I just took the form out and replaced it with an unclickable version of my email. I also emailed you directly.
Amanda Staley
October 16, 2017 at 11:39amI am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was an amazing person and will be missed by all who knew her. Cherish those special memories and she will always be with you.
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 11:47amShe certainly will, Amanda. Not much in my life I didn’t share with Jane, in talk, in experiences, in in-jokes. Stuff I turned her on to and stuff she turned me on to. She had a wide-ranging intellect, and was always surprising me with odd information.
Deborah
October 16, 2017 at 11:42amOh Marian I’m so sorry for your loss!
Marian Allen
October 16, 2017 at 11:47amThank you. HUGS
Marion Driessen
October 17, 2017 at 10:34amI am so very sorry, Marian. My deepest condolences. She sounds like a very special friend.
Marian Allen
October 17, 2017 at 1:45pmThank you, dear sister. She was a very special friend, indeed.