One of the Southern Indiana Writers Group is She Who Writes Under The Name Of Eli Cobb. I love her work, but I can’t eat my dinner when she’s at meeting, because I’m too busy taking down all the funny things she says.
For instance, my “grilled zucchini” had maybe been walked past a lightbulb. A dim lightbulb. But I even like zucchini cold and nearly raw, so I et it. “Eli” reported what one of her friends and/or relations would have said:
I got three words for you:
Take this off my bill.
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.

MA
Dan Antion
July 4, 2018 at 7:40amI love that!
John Holton
July 4, 2018 at 12:54pmI’ll have to remember that one…
pm laberge
July 4, 2018 at 11:53pmCan I be a nit-picky, technicalist, 24 Karat, pain in the Grunion?
That is 5 words. Not 3.
Thank you for your time and attention.
Take care, and: Carry on!
(I may not be a spammer, but boy do I come close!)
Marian Allen
July 5, 2018 at 7:37amPete, sometime I’ll have to post some of the spam I get. Or you could check out Spomment of the Day on Facebook, where I post some.
pm laberge
July 5, 2018 at 4:20pmMy Gaaaaawwwwddddd!!!!!
These people make my writing read like something out of that guy there, he used to Shake his Speare!
Or Mark Twain!
I gather most of them do not have English as a first, or even 2nd language!
Holly laboured over the short but torturous letter from the lowlands. It was a request for books The letter made little sense, read like spam, and worse, for any book, the journey would be a long one. It only took her a minute to decide what to do. She picked up the phone and called her pet pest. “OH, Peeete…” Ah, she and her assistant Marion would have a nice 2 week vacation! She congratulated herself on being able to make these high executive decisions, and called in her servant. “Tea for 2, and 2 scones, please.” Then she called Marion to tell her the good news. Laughing she said: “It’s good to be the king.”
The end.
I’ll let you write their letter! Is Steffie good as a book?
Marian Allen
July 6, 2018 at 7:48amDon’t let Parlourmaid Tambar Miznalia hear you call her a servant! She would bring you LUKEWARM tea and the stalest scones in the pantry–the ones she keeps in a special tin for just such occasions.
pm laberge
July 6, 2018 at 1:56pmSorry! I recalled her but forgot the name!