This one is actually mine. When #4 Daughter, the amazing Sara Marian, was little, we would walk over to Mom’s a couple of times a week to watch television programs we liked to see together. If we would be coming home after dark, we would take a flashlight or we would drive.
Sara said she was afraid of trees in the dark. That actually made sense, because you could walk into a tree and bonk your head or poke your eye out on a twig. I said I was afraid of ‘possums, which is silly, since they respond to perceived attacks by falling over and pretending to have a communicable disease.
“No,” I said. “Possums are fierce! Have you seen those beady little close-set eyes? And those sharp teeth?” Then I said–and God knows where this nonsense came from:
“They’d just as soon bite you as iron your shirt.”
That has now become my go-to phrase for anything threatening.
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.
MA
Dan Antion
September 12, 2018 at 8:42amI love that saying, although…
Possums must have a terrible ad agency. They eat everything bad in the world, and really don’t bother people. We have periodically had one in our yard. We always call her/him Polly. When our daughter was little, we used to leave fruit out for her so we could get a glimpse of those beady little eyes 🙂
Marian Allen
September 12, 2018 at 10:16amOH, yeah, I love the possums for real! I don’t know how they’re so good at simulating rabies, since they’re practically immune to it. I’m always happy when I see a possum around.
pm laberge
September 12, 2018 at 10:30amMakes sense to me:
“No,” I said. “Possums are fierce! Have you seen those beady little close-set eyes? And those sharp teeth?” Then I said–and God knows where this nonsense came from:
“They’d just as soon bite you as iron your shirt.”
That has now become my go-to phrase for anything threatening.
Avoid beady eyes. And besides the Beverly Hillbillies used to eat them as a stew.
Marian Allen
September 12, 2018 at 11:15amI wouldn’t eat a possum; they’re too useful as detickinators. Although I’m assured that there’s good eatin’ on a possum. Hmmm, no, thank you.
pm laberge
September 12, 2018 at 11:20amI would not eat them either, unless I was desperate.
Those beady little eyes, they follow you everywhere.
If you eat one, the sight will nevver go away from you.
I am a generous man. Jed and Jethro can have my possum!
I’d write you a nice possum poem, but I am a baaaad poet.
Marian Allen
September 12, 2018 at 1:37pmA baaaad poet, eh? Bet you could write a great sheep poem, then.
Mitchell Allen
September 13, 2018 at 12:41amAnother great one-liner. All I know is, they sure do stink up the car after they’ve been in the middle of the road for a while…
Cheers,
Mitch
Marian Allen
September 13, 2018 at 7:50amYes, I think that’s carrying playing possum just a shade too far.
Holly J
September 14, 2018 at 9:43amI’m with you on those possums! They can be vicious little suckers. I had a stand off with a little female one night. She decided to stand guard at my back door, while I was out having a smoke. One look at those pointy fangs, snarling and hissing at me, and I almost tossed her the keys and ran! In the end, I played matador to her bull, and fended her off with a plastic WalMart chair.
Marian Allen
September 14, 2018 at 10:03amWow!! That sounds like quite an adventure!