The Most Interesting Squirrel in the World
Flapjack was the most interesting squirrel in the world.
He fell out of the nest when he was young and was found and raised by a she-wolf. He grew up raiding chicken houses and eating raw meat.
As a young adult, he was captured by scientists and taught to communicate through symbols on a specially built computer. On it, he composed the now-famous “Green Manifesto” and spawned humanity’s Wild Things movement.
After leading a successful mass breakout from the scientific facility where he was being held, he was captured again and sent into space as part of a set of experiments on the effect of zero-g on animals. When a circuit in the navigation system failed and all backups proved useless, he broke a spoke from his running wheel, crawled into the spacecraft’s workings, and held the spoke in place to complete the circuit until a proper trajectory for a safe return could be achieved.
Upon landing in the North Sea, Flapjack didn’t wait for recovery and a return to captivity, but swam through icy waters all the way to the coast of North Carolina.
Working his way inland, he eventually reached Louisville, Kentucky. There, he found himself embedded in a cautionary tale told by a doting grandfather, taking a walk with a small blond girl.
“Once upon a time,” the man said, pointing to Flapjack, “there was a squirrel who didn’t look both ways before he crossed the street. He didn’t hold a grownup’s hand or look both ways, and he ran out in front of a car, and he got run over. You don’t want that to happen to you, do you?”
The little girl, staring at Flapjack with wide eyes, shook her head.
“Well, don’t cross the street by yourself. And, if you have to, don’t forget to look both ways. Right?”
At last, Flapjack felt fulfilled, and he’s lived in that story ever since.
The story about the thoughtless and unlucky squirrel is one my grandfather used to tell me when I was little. The squashed squirrel in the picture is one I found in Louisville near the Vint Coffee where Jane and I would meet before lunch.
This post is also part of Linda G. Hills weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.
MY PROMPTS TODAY: internet meme