Good Cussin’ Threefer #1LinerWeds

Mark Twain said:

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

On the other hand, I’ve been using increasing amounts of profanity these past years, and seriously need to go on a potty-mouth-free diet in order to cleanse my system, so I’m fortunate in having read the first few books of the hilarious Space Team series by Barry J. Hutchison, where the universal translators don’t translate imprecations, so now I can say things like:

What the fonk?!?

I’m also fortunate in finding The Good Place to binge upon on Netflix. Their universal translator doesn’t do imprecations, either, so now I can also choose to say:

What the fork?!?

It’s good to increase one’s vocabulary. It gives one choices.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.

A WRITING PROMPT FROM ME TO YOU: Someone must suppress warranted profanity.



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Good Cussin’ Threefer #1LinerWeds

  1. Anklebuster

    June 24, 2020 at 8:12am

    My all-time favorite from the Universal Translator is “Mickey Fickey”. A commercial actor used it and it shocked my funny-bone more than the original imprecation would have shocked the FCC (whose members, apparently, devised the Universal Translator during an episode of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.)



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  2. Dan Antion

    June 24, 2020 at 10:07am

    My best friend uses “what the foop” and “what the faruk” but only “foop” is made into other forms line “fooping idiot.”

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  3. John Holton

    June 24, 2020 at 12:45pm

    I was reading a book on the Python programming language, and they had a line, “Profanity is the language every programmer understands.”

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  4. Ally Bean

    June 24, 2020 at 1:29pm

    When Eleanor Shellstrop says ‘”holy forking shirt balls” I laugh every time. I say it now, too– because she’s a good role model.

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  5. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    June 24, 2020 at 9:47pm

    I suppress a lot of profanity when I write – as I engender situations which require it.

    If I didn’t, the effect when I DO use it would be diluted. Which is what happens when every other word is mf in the mouths of the current generations.

    And I will use an m-dash – and let the reader fill in: “What the f–” or equivalent.

    Most adults have enough vocabulary to fill these spaces. If they don’t, good for them.

    It’s the GWTW method.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      June 25, 2020 at 8:52am

      I cuss a lot more in person than I do in fiction. A lot of my characters use mild profanity, but very few of them dive very deep into it. Some do, because that’s how they talk. Part of that abstemiousness was due to my mother: She liked for me to read my stuff to her, and I got tired of skipping words or replacing a bad one with a mild one; it was just easier to write more creatively.

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        • Author

          Marian Allen

          June 25, 2020 at 12:50pm

          Mom passed two years ago, but she’s still bringing me up. Probably always will be, and I’m glad to have her here in my head with me. 🙂

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          • Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

            June 25, 2020 at 7:22pm

            Mine isn’t in there enough, because she had many years of not really being with us before she died, but she and my maternal grandmother are both in there forever. For good.

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