HELLO! My name is CHICKIE! Mommy says this is the last Caturday in May, so Tipper and I will go back to taking turns posting for Mommy on Caturday. I asked if stupid Adi is going to start posting, and Mommy said, “We shall see.” I think that means yes. Tipper says he hopes she does, because if she does then we can take more naps. I hope she doesn’t, because if she doesn’t that means she’ll go away.

The Flat-Faced Bear and the Three Good Ones

by Chickie Allen

Once upon a time, two fine cats lived in a big house in the woods with their mommy. They were very happy together. Woodland creatures came around, but the mommy wouldn’t let them come in.

“We have all the animals we need, thank you,” the mommy said, and the two fine cats agreed.

One day, things changed.

“Oh, my nice cats,” said the mommy, “somebody’s been shedding fluffy blobs too long to be yours and too short to be mine!”

“Who could it be?” cried the two nice cats.

“Mommy,” said the boy cat, “somebody’s been eating stinky food, not our nice food!”

“P.U.!” said the mommy and the girl cat.

“Mommy,” said the girl cat, “somebody’s been sitting in my catbird seat, and she’s still there!”

Sure enough, a big, flat-faced bear was sitting in Chickie’s the girl cat’s favorite place in the house!

“Shoo!” said the girl cat. “Go away, you flat-faced bear!”

“Shoo!” said the boy cat. “Go away, you stinky-food eater!”

“Awww,” said the mommy, “isn’t she adooboo? Yes, she is! Yes, she is! Who’s a fluffykins, den? Who’s a big, sweet sugar fluff?”

And the bear rolled over and showed the mommy her belly, and the mommy ruffled it, and the bear licked the mommy’s hand.

So the stinky-food eating, flat-faced, blob-shedding bear stayed on, and the two nice cats put up with it because the mommy still gave them their good food and all the pats and scritches they asked for.

The nice cats said mean things to the bear, but the bear mostly just said, “I’ll grow on you.”

Stinky bear!

Animal Madness

by Tipper Allen

Corporal Chickster spoke while keeping her eyes fixed out the window.

“We’re surrounded, Captain! Should we take shelter in the basement?”

“Hold your position, Corporal!” Captain Tippington’s back fur remained smooth. No puffiness marred the sleek order of his tail. By no sign did he betray the slightest amount of fear. Young cats told each other, “The old man’s got ice water in his veins.”

Corporal Chickie, on the other hand, had been seen to puff her tail, arch her back, and go full-on Halloween Cat when faced with the untoward.

“Full report, Corporal,” said Captain Tippington.

“Sir, yes, sir! That groundhog they call Clover has been spotted in the front yard …

… the back yard …

… and the porch.”

“Groundhog,” said Tippington, cooly. “He’s known to have eaten our hooman’s dill plant. Cheeky devil.”

“And, sir … There’s a possum. Pogo, the hoomans call him. He’s been spotted in the garden …

… and near the porch.”

“Possum, eh?” Tippington rubbed his chin with a paw. “I hear they eat ticks. Could be a friendly. Anything else?”

“I heard our hooman say she encountered three wild turkeys on her way to town. If they’re very wild, they could be dangerous!”

Corporal Chickster took her eyes off the view outside to glance furtively around the room.

“But the most worrisome beast of all is that new one in the house. We’re told she’s a cat, but she doesn’t look like any cat I’ve ever seen before.”

“Nor I,” said the Captain. “Nevertheless, we must trust our hooman.”

The Corporal stared out the window and gave a slight, doubtful shrug.

“In fact,” the Captain continued, “I’m beginning to believe she’s harmless. She seldom responds to antagonistic overtures, and I’ve seen her play with the hoomans and with toys.”

“Our toys!”

“Yes, but she doesn’t mind sharing them.” This was a pointed remark, meant to call to Corporal Chickster’s mind all the times she had stolen toys and hidden them from the Captain.

Chickster wisely said nothing.

“Very well, Corporal,” said Tippington. “You are dismissed.”

“Thank you, Sir,” said the Corporal. With a cursory salute of her tail, she ran to the basement.

The wise Captain shook his head at her departure. “And to think,” he said, “she’ll be all of four years old, come June. Kittens!”

OUR PROMPT TODAY: Real life!

CA and TA