Each year’s Hot Flashes–between 2002 and 2007, at any rate–has a Cafe Press store. Visit the Shop link on this web site to find out more.

January, 2005

List

• Clean out joint account — Check
• Fly to Hawaii — Check
• Buy new wardrobe — Check

New Year’s resolutions, she mused, just took self-discipline.

February, 2005

Three Little Words

He shovels snow and chops wood. This is his language of love.

When he comes in, she’ll reply, and he’ll know she understands:

“There’s hot cocoa.”

March, 2005

Rabbit Run

We saved him from our cat and put him in the henhouse, hoping he’d be okay.

He was gone in the morning. The eggs that day were rainbow-shelled and solid chocolate.

April, 2005

Suspicious Circumstances

My bulbs were so healthy the spring after Fred disappeared, the cops dug up the garden. No Fred, just fresh manure. An understandable mistake.

May, 2005

Peg

We drove past her house. My mother made a spitting noise.

“Mom! I thought you said you forgave her!”

“I did.” She paused. “But I didn’t forgive her car.”

June, 2005

Maturity

He called. “I found you on the ‘Net. Lunch?”

He hadn’t changed since graduation. Still a geek. Still adorable.

She was different, though. This time, she said, “Yes.”

July, 2005

Ghosts

A bird flits through the rafters of the Super-Store. He sings of the trees that grew here once, and will grow here again.

August, 2005

The Postmaster’s Sweetheart

She knew the time had come to end the courtship and set the wedding date when he started tacking her picture to the “Most Wanted” board.

September, 2005

No Antidote

“Thank you for coming to help us remember him.”

“What happened?”

“It was in the mailbox. Took him just like that.”

“What was it? A spider? A snake?”

“A letter. He never recovered.”

October, 2005

End of Argument

“She was very happy.”

No, I wasn’t.

“She was devoted to her work.”

I hated it.

“She just wasn’t the type to empty the till and take off.”

Oh, really? She grins and switches the car radio to the jazz station.

November, 2005

Banana Peel

“That sort of thing only happens in cartoons.” She sneered at my warning as I dodged back into the store and the shadow of the grand piano grew rapidly around her.

December, 2005

Stocking Stuffer

I put an MP3 player in his. He put an orange in mine.

I stripped the rind and divided the sections. There was a ruby ring inside.

“Ho, ho, ho,” he said.

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