Each year’s Hot Flashes–between 2002 and 2007, at any rate–has a Cafe Press store. Visit the Shop link on this web site to find out more.
January
Bradford
Told Mom Bradford Pear were brittle.
“They’re so pretty!”
Fine.
Ice storm. Broken trees clog the drive.
Heart attack, clearing them. Ambulance blocked.
Happy now, Mom?
February
All In Good Time
How long have we been dating?
Seven years.
Long time.
In dog years, we practically just met.
Let well enough alone, eh?
Suits me.
All happy couples are not the same.
March
No Contest
We each made him coq au vin. Mine: recipe-perfect.
Mandy added cocoa. Idiot.
Jean added coke. Not the cola. I dropped a dime.
I should win, but no. Hes waiting for Jean.
Idiot.
April
Tag
BEEP
Its me, girl. Call me.
BEEP
Returning your call. Sup?
BEEP
Leave off my man, bitch!
BEEP
Hes mine, now. NO! DONT SHOOT!
BEEP
May
Fortunate
Old plans are best, she thought.
First a bride, then a widow.
Her wealth would grow by stocks and bonds. And, of course, a fifth gold ring.
June
Geese
Kat threw the last shirt over her 7th brother.
Magic unfinished, one arm would always be a wing.
But think of the money they’d save on quill pens!
July
Revenge is the Thing With Feathers
Taking her to the prom?
I give her a sack of bread and tell her where I saw a nest of lovely swans.
August
Profit Margin
There were eight of us, surrounded by pastured dairies.
“How do they make so much cheese? They only have one cow!”
Milk rustling.
September
The Good Folk
I saw them, dancing in the glen, starlight on their wings.
And they saw me.
Now I attend all their dances, serving them forever.
October
Handicap
In other news, the Galactic Olympics say Arachnoids will be allowed in the long jump, if they have their legs broken at the knee.
November
Beach Buds
Sandpipers trail me along the shore, pecking at my discarded clothes.
I swim, out. Out. It’s just me and the gulls. Then, just the gulls.
December
New Hire
Been a salesman all m’life. This gig’s same as any. Make ’em want what you got more’n what they got.
A soul’s negotiable, like anything else.
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Go to the Flashbacks link for all years’ Hot Flashes.
