Winter Storm

“Everything’s coated in ice,” I say.

Arms crossed, she doesn’t answer.

In the woods, something breaks under the silent weight.

February, 2008

Good Move

I arrange my furniture, stock my pantry, hang pictures.

Micha slinks out of her cat carrier and sniffs everything.

She purrs.

I’m home.

March, 2008

Breezy

She blew into his life like a breath of fresh air. She left in a huff.

He tries to remember her name: Gale? Wendy?

April, 2008

Feast

I’m honored to cook for today’s festival. Few could make this toxic flesh wholesome and succulent, but Human is my specialty.

May, 2008

Outpatient

Cataract removal — nothing to it. My first was two weeks ago — no problem. Had the second yesterday. #3 is in two weeks. No worries.

June, 2008

Ringtones

Mine was “Take Five”.

Hers was “Mood Indigo”.

Solid relationships have grown from less.

July, 2008

Bounty

I could never get my garden to produce those big tomatoes, those hefty watermelons. So I had myself shrunk.

Best summer ever!

August, 2008

Heat Wave

The Waxworks’ AC broke after closing. Wax sagged and ran. Next morning, the janitor saw what had been underneath. He was never found.

September, 2008

Secrets

Below us, water rages.

“Surprise!” I grab her. “I’m seeing Ann.”

“I’m learning Judo.”

Over I go.

“Surprise!” she calls after me.

October, 2008

Downsizing

I had a wife and couldn’t keep her, so I put her in a pumpkin shell.

The mincing took forever, but she’s keeping very well.

November, 2008

Staircase

I scream as he tumbles down.

Too steep, he’d said. I’ll kill myself on them one day.

Hope nobody notices my footprint on his butt.

December, 2008

On File

“The results came back on your fingerprints.”

I sweat.

He leans across the desk. Smiles.

“You’re in. Welcome to the Foster Parents’ Program.”

.

Go to the Flashbacks link for all years’ Hot Flashes.