Each year’s Hot Flashes–between 2002 and 2007, at any rate–has a Cafe Press store. Visit the Shop link on this web site to find out more.
January
New Leaf
We’re going to start fresh. He deleted his lawyer’s number.
I deleted Mr. X’s.
Funny that they call it a “kill fee” when you tell them NOT to.
February
Answering Machine
I’m not here to answer your call right now.
Leave your name and number and, if you’re a psychic, I’ll get back to you.
March
Bucket List
He always wanted to go paragliding so, for his birthday, I took him up a cliff and off he went!
Some say I should have let him put on his gear before I pushed him.
April
Dead End
An ax, a chainsaw, an hour’s work and a good clean-up afterwards, red washing down the drain.
“That,” he says, “is how you get a cedar stump out of clay.”
May
Maypole
Gran considers my question as she spins.
“Children can’t dance around the Maypole because it makes you with child. Folks dance, go off, and next you know–babies!”
Gran knows everything. But sometimes she laughs for no reason.
June
Bridezilla
Barbie lies discarded in a box. The dinosaurs are marrying the ponies and driving off in cars.
My child. Is “unique” the word I’m looking for?
July
Reflection
The face in the water is my face reversed. Handsome, young, well-groomed. So why did she pick him over me?
He stopped struggling ten minutes ago. I release him and let my twin drift away.
August
Summer Heat
I might as well forgive him. It’s so hot, my voodoo doll is melting.
September
The Oak’s Farewell
They say we don’t really die in the fall when our leaves drop and our sap recedes. They say we come back in the spring. But you’re never the same tree twice. Goodbye. Goodbye.
October
Halloween Haiku
Dark highlights brightness–
A black bat flickers across
The face of the moon.
November
Bare Bones Landscape
“Skeletal,” he says, loving his own voice. “The leafless trees are skeletal.”
“Not yet,” I say, drawing my knife across his throat. I shove the body into the sinkhole nearby. “But soon.”
December
Paradise
The fresh-fallen snow sparkles like a billion billion stars. I thought I would be cold without my coat, but I’m warm as toast. When they come home, they can follow my footprints to heaven.
Go to the Flashbacks link for all years’ Hot Flashes.