Why I Ditched The Church Board Meeting

My cat barfed on the couch and I sat in it. How’s that for a unique excuse? And, sadly, it’s true.

Katya, my 12-year-old kitty, has psychogenic alopecia. She licks her fur off. If you’ve ever been licked by a cat, you know that their tongues are like little pink lawn mowers. I have an idea that I could sell sets of salmon-flavored shaving cream plus a cat, and you’d never have to buy another razor in your life. All I need is a guy to back the idea, and I’ll be a millionaire. (If you haven’t read Michael Z. Lewin‘s UNDERDOG, buy it and read it NOW. I’ll wait.)

This cat was born stressed. The only things that calm her down are 1) for me to physically be touching her constantly and 2) cat dope. Too much dope is bad for anybody, and I have to move sometimes, much as I hate to do it.

So, apparently, she got all clogged up with all this hair that belonged on her outside, and deposited it lovingly in the spot where I usually sit, and it blended in with the pattern of the couch, and….

Besides, it was cold and wet and dark and I didn’t fancy driving home on the back roads when there might have been black ice.

I’m thinking of getting one of those calm-down-kitty pheromone dispensers, although writer Rebecca Marquis got one for her kitty and turned out to be allergic to it. Why is nothing ever easy?

WRITING PROMPT: How does your main character deal with stress?

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I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Why I Ditched The Church Board Meeting

  1. Jane

    February 9, 2012 at 2:24pm

    Katya is looking beautiful. And smart, too. I am sure she had no idea that was your chair……

    How about a cat’s making ALL their functions onto your bed pillow? Yeah. It was a real treat. That’s what I get for trying to keep adopting cats.

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  2. Justin Hamilton

    December 6, 2015 at 7:45pm

    My cat died a little over 3 months ago. It really was like losing a member of our family. It takes a lot of love and patience to take care of them but it is well worth it. Glad to see you happy with your cat and hope you enjoy those special moments 🙂

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      December 7, 2015 at 8:19am

      I’m so sorry you lost your cat, Justin.:( Katya is no longer with us: She had a massive stroke and had to be put down. She couldn’t move or eat or anything. I then adopted two elderly cats from a household of seven kitties left homeless when their human died (the others all got happy homes, too). One of those, a former stray who was over 17, recently passed. So now I have Amidala, who is 16, super snuggley, and totally spoiled. 🙂

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      • Justin Hamilton

        December 8, 2015 at 8:10pm

        Very Sorry to hear that. i hope your next pet brings you just as much happiness 🙂

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        • Author

          Marian Allen

          December 9, 2015 at 8:03am

          She sure does, Justin. She blogs for me every Caturday, and she’s my best buddy. 🙂

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  3. non denominational church dallas

    March 5, 2016 at 10:41pm

    I will back your idea ( salmon-flavored shaving cream plus a cat )…. I am a guy…. however I don’t have the funding to back. I must say, I like the way you think.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 6, 2016 at 7:46am

      Well, heck, Michael, no funding for me, eh? Thanks for the vote of confidence, though. 😀

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  4. Tesa Nugraha

    August 15, 2016 at 7:30pm

    I think there needs to be consultation with a specialist veterinary anesthetic every month,, very dangerous if not conformed to the level or dose

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      August 16, 2016 at 8:27am

      You’re probably right, but the question is moot now. My precious Katya had a massive stroke at the age of 17 and passed away. Thank you so much for the comment, though; I did consult frequently with a vet about my last cats. They passed, too, both at around 17 (they were rescues, and I’m not certain of the age of one of them).

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  5. Nicholas Woods

    September 6, 2016 at 12:48pm

    Well… if I win lottery on friday, I’ll make sure to support your idea of salmon-flavored shaving creams. Can’t really imagine the smell, but I guess cats would love it. Great post, was a nice read!

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