Granny’s cat, Sweetie Pie, made a dash for freedom yesterday! She loves to go outside, but Granny won’t let her because Granny’s afraid the Schmeltz’s black cat will chase Sweetie Pie into the woods or up a tree. But MaMA says Sweetie Pie darted out the door before she could stop her. MaMA walked after her, hoping she would stop to be picked up, but the naughty cat just kept walking, across the deck, down the ramp, down the steps, along the yard, and under the porch! The lattice that’s supposed to block off the under-the-porch is all torn loose, probably by a raccoon, MaMA says.
She finally came back in, but Granny had to go out and coax her. MaMA said it was good for Granny to get out in the fresh air and sunshine, and she might let Sweetie Pie out on purpose another day!
MaMA spoke to me in a foreign language on Wednesday. It sounded like, “Pyou, Ami, yew steenque!” I think that’s French for, “Dear Ami, I shall bathe you today,” because that’s what happened. MaMA carried me into the bathroom and put me into the dry bathtub. I thought it was very interesting and was sniffing around, getting my bearings, when WOW! MaMA lowered herself to her knees beside the tub, putting her weight on her arm on the side of the tub, right on top of my tail! It hurt like home-made sin! I remonstrated with her — in a ladylike way, of course — and she removed her weight.
[MA: You never heard such language! I didn’t realize cats knew that kind of language! You’d think she was a sailor’s parrot!]
[AMI: I learned it from Munchkin. Were those bad words?]
[MUNCHKIN: You did not, either, learn it from me!]
[AMI: Did too.]
[MUNCHKIN: Did not.]
[MA: Never mind. Get on with the story.]
Well, that’s it, isn’t it? MaMA sprayed me with waterless cat bath foam and rubbed it in. I grumbled some —
[MA: Cussed like a drunken parrot]
…grumbled some, but was very ladylike, on the whole.
When I got out, there was Munchkin, stretched outside the door, as if he wanted a baff, too. So MaMA gave him one. She didn’t crunch his tail, though.
Then she decided to trim our nails. Neither of us like that one little bit, but she did it, anyway.
[MA: Who bit me? Or would have, if she had two teeth to rub together?]
…We were both pretty good, considering how little we liked it. And we look beautiful.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR ANIMALS: Are you good when you get a baff?