Chocolate Chip Cookie #recipes #Minecraft and Mine

Here’s how you make a chocolate chip cookie in Minecraft:

I am a Minecraft cookie. I’m supposed to be pixilated.

With your BARE HAND, beat the shit out of a tree. Make a crafting table. Use that to make some sticks and then a wooden pickaxe. Use the wooden pickaxe to break some stone. Use a stick and some stone to make a stone pickaxe and use more stone to make an oven. Mine a bunch of stone until you find some with pale brown bits. That’s iron ore. Break that to bits. Also, look for stone with black bits; that’s coal; also break that to bits and take it all back to your oven. Use the iron ore and coal to make iron ingots. Use iron ingots and a stick to make an iron pickaxe and, if you’re doing monsters, a sword. But mostly make a hoe.

Take the hoe and tap a bunch of grass. It’ll give up seed. Plant the seed in the hoed-up ground. Go do something else for a couple of hours.

Oh, I know! Go beat the shit out of some red flowers and some yellow flowers, and then swim out to sea and beat the shit out of some squid and take their ink sacs.

Go back to your planted seeds and see if it’s turned dark yellow with dark brown tips. If it has, that’s wheat. With your bare hand, beat the shit out of it and collect the wheat and seed and plant the seed.


On your crafting table, make the red flowers into red dye and the yellow flowers into yellow dye. Make the red and yellow dye into orange dye.

Combine the orange dye and the squid ink sacs into cocoa beans. I am not making this up.

Wheat plus cocoa beans make a chocolate chip cookie.


Here’s mine:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

  • 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup granulated (regular) sugar
  • 1 cup butter or margarine,softened
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 eggs
  • 12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1 cup chopped nuts

Preheat oven to 375F. Combine flour, salt, and baking soda. Combine sugars, butter or margarine, and vanilla, and beat until creamy. Add eggs and beat. Add dry ingredients and mix well. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop mixture by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 5 to 10 minutes.

Yeah, I got the recipe off the back of the chocolate chip bag, what of it? That’s the recipe I use. No squids were harmed in the making of this recipe.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What is (or was) your main character’s favorite cookie?



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Chocolate Chip Cookie #recipes #Minecraft and Mine

  1. Jane

    August 26, 2015 at 9:38am

    Bizzarro-World strikes again!
    (Hmmm. Is it 2 z or 2 r?) (Or both?) (Yeah. Both)

    I think the key to Zen-like stuff is the realization that nothing makes any real sense anyway, so just gather up the pieces and get to making something.

    BAM! The Zen of Minecraft!

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author
  2. Dan

    August 26, 2015 at 9:53am

    I’ll go with the cookies that start with all purpose flour 🙂

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply

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