Trigger Warning: Contains Fruitcake

We love fruitcake at my house. And this is a great example of the goodness that can come from following the instructions on a packet. I bought a 32oz (2 lb) container of Sunripe Fruit Cake Mix and used — more or less — the recipe on the label.

Here’s their recipe:

Festive Holiday Fruit Cake

  • 1 1/2 cups (12 oz) Sunripe Fruit Cake Mix
  • 1 1/2 cups Candied Pineapple Wedges (assorted colors)
  • 8 oz Candied Red Cherries
  • 8 oz Candied Green Cherries
  • 1 cup dried apples, coarsely chopped
  • 1 cup pitted dates, coarsely chopped
  • 2 cups currants or dark raisins
  • 1 cup slivered almonds
  • 1 cup walnut halves

Okay, so I was like, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” So I used ALL the fruitcake mix and NO pineapple, apple, or cherries. I had no currants, so I used some raisins and some dried cranberries.

They said “Pour 1/2 cup bourbon or rum over combined fruits and nuts in large bowl; let stand 2 to 3 hours, stirring occasionally.” I used more like 2/3 cup of bourbon and left it overnight. It looked like this:

FruitcakeGutsBack to the recipe:

  • 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
  • 5 eggs
  • 2 tablespoons dark molasses
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Measure remaining ingredients into large mixing bowl. Beat at low speed until blended; beat at high speed 3 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Stir in fruit mixture. Spread mixture evenly in greased 12-cup fluted or angel cake pan, or 2 greased 6-cup fluted cake pans. Press mixture firmly into pan. Bake in pre-heated 250-degree (F) oven until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean, 3 to 3/12 hours. Cool in pan on wire rack 20 minutes; invert onto wire rack and cool completely. Garnish with whole cherries, pineapple and nuts.

I followed this part exactly, except I didn’t garnish it with fruit, I garnished it with bourbon. I used an angel cake pan to cook it. When I took it out, I sprinkled it with a couple or three tablespoons of bourbon. After it cooled, I had to run a knife around the edges to loosen it, but it came right out. Then I sprinkled some more bourbon on it.

BOOM!

FruitcakePerfectionIt’s actually a bit darker than this, but the flash got all flashy with it. Honestly, the best damn fruitcake I ever put in my mouth, and I looooooooooves me some fruitcake!

And now, for your seasonal enjoyment, this, because it doth have fruitcake in it.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What does your main character love that is generally laughed at as detestable?

MA

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About

I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Trigger Warning: Contains Fruitcake

  1. Jane
    Twitter:

    December 16, 2015 at 8:41am

    Ha! Another hilarious science fictional post. HA HA. Somebody likes fruit cake!! Har har. You’re a laff riot, grll!

    Joking aside, this recipe (and the photo) looks like FOOD, not fruit cake.

    AND it has the advantage of having a known creation date!

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  2. Jane
    Twitter:

    December 17, 2015 at 8:23am

    YAY!
    I got my package, fruitcake and all. Deelicious! I especially like the citrous undertone to every bite!

    BTW, the bourbon balls are scrumptious. Jim likes them, too. “Well, I’ll Just have one more,” quoth he.

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
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