Should Be #Vegan. Should Be Kosher. But FAIL FTW.

You like chickpeas? I love chickpeas! Also known as garbanzo beans, which always sounds to me a little like a Muppet character.

ANYWAY, I not only like chickpeas, I love, love, love big leaves of sage pan-toasted until they’re crisp. So this is like the perfect thing.ChickpeasSage

You drain and rinse a can of chickpeas, put them in a towel or some paper towels, and dry them completely. You pick some sage, the bigger the leaves the better. Heat some vegan margarine in a skillet, put the chickpeas and sage in, dust them with salt and pepper or seasoned salt or salt-free seasoning, and cook them,Ā  stirring occasionally, until the chickpeas are browned and the sage is crispy.

It’s pretty dry, unless you go crazy-go-nuts with the margarine, so they’re better as a munchy snack or as a side with something kind of goopy or greasy.

And that’s why this particular batch was not vegan or kosher. Cover your ears. *It was cooked in the pan in which I cooked pork bratwurst.* –Oh! Your eyes! I meant cover your eyes! Is it too late? Sorry about that.

Anyway, this was really really really good. And it’s good when it’s cooked clean, too.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character cooks something in an offensive way.




I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “Should Be #Vegan. Should Be Kosher. But FAIL FTW.

  1. Jane

    August 10, 2016 at 8:48am

    I actually never considered torturing garbonzas on the griddle until they crisped! Sounds yum! and swell with the crispy sage. I can kind of smell it now…..oops! That could be something else….! Better go check.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      August 10, 2016 at 8:52am

      LOL! Getting ready to tend to Mom and then I’ll be over. šŸ™‚

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  2. Roy A. Ackerman, PhD, EA

    August 10, 2016 at 9:03am

    So, here’s one kosher fellow who detests chickpeas. I avoid falafel as often as i avoid pork. In other words- always.
    But, I know my friends and family all flock to the stuff. (I’ll stick with the non-vegan schwarma for my meals.)

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      August 10, 2016 at 4:21pm

      Can I have your falafel, then? Oh, and some of your schwarma? And maybe just one piece of beef from your shish kebab? Okay, maybe two. And just a bite of your baklava? Thanks.

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      • Roy A. Ackerman, PhD, EA

        August 10, 2016 at 4:52pm

        Now, being the frugal (cheap?) fellow that I am, why would I buy a falafel if I have no intention of consuming it?
        And, my schwarma? Keep your fingers away- I don’t want to bite them off by mistake as I devour the entire pita sandwich šŸ™‚ !

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        • Author

          Marian Allen

          August 10, 2016 at 6:17pm

          You would buy a falafel you have no intention of consuming to distract me from your schwarma, of course!

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  3. Joey

    August 10, 2016 at 9:38am

    Wow that sounds good! I may try that this weekend. My sage is having a wonderful summer šŸ™‚
    I have to laugh at the kosher references, because my kosher friends are always goin on at me about plates I post on FB. So there’s meat and sour cream in the same dish?!? “So not kosher, Joey.” I do terrible things like make challah and serve it with roasted pork. “So not kosher, Joey.” They’re relentless, but I tell you, they knew I was a pagan heathen Unitarian foodie from the onset šŸ˜‰

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      August 10, 2016 at 4:15pm

      Well, you just tell them to post their own recipes! lol!

      My herbs are going crazy-growth! The tomato hornworms are screaming and crawling for cover because of all the herbs around the tomato plants, like Hoplites around Alexander the Great. –Can you tell Charlie and I have been watching Great Courses lectures on history? YEAH, BABY!

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  4. Dan Antion

    August 10, 2016 at 10:52am

    Oh my goodness – I despise chickpeas. I clicked ‘Like’ because you wrote with good enthusiasm. I just want to go on record as liking you as a writer and NOT, under any circumstances, liking chickpeas. I will add that my family does not support my feelings in this matter, but they do keep the little pastepods to themselves and they willingly eat any that appear in my salad at a restaurant.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      August 10, 2016 at 4:18pm

      “The little pastepods”! “Pastepods”!!! OMG, that’s wonderful! Almost makes me wish I didn’t love ’em so much! Would you, could you, eat them fried? Is that something you have tried? Would you eat them in a paste with lemon, oil, and garlic taste?

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  5. Dan Antion

    August 10, 2016 at 6:01pm

    I have always referred to them as pastepods. Apologies to Dr. Seuss – I hope I get bonus points for attempting to answer in rhyme:

    I would not, would not eat them fried.
    I’ve tried them fried – I have not lied.
    I could not eat them in a paste.
    The texture aggravates the nasty taste

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