Steffie Breaks the Law

Steffie thought the unassuming little blue house with the white wooden arch at the top of the front porch steps would probably be charming by daylight. At night, she thought, it looked like a face with an open mouth.

She eased around to the back and slipped in through a basement window.

The lawyer was snoozing away in purple pajamas between yellow silk sheets, his comb-over fanned across his pillow.

She put a gloved hand across his mouth and a finger to her lips, so that the lawyer woke up and was quiet.

The instant she removed her hand, the lawyer sat up and whispered, “Tell our mutual friend I’m working on it. I’ll have results in a day or two — say three working days, just to be safe –“

She put a finger back to her lips and he fell silent.

“‘Our mutual friend’ is no friend,” said Steffie. “He’s an enemy of the country.”

“‘Enemy of the country’ is a strong term,” said the lawyer. “I might even say a slanderous term. If we argued it in front of a jury–“

“We would never argue it in court,” said Steffie, and the lawyer swallowed so hard it was audible.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” said Steffie. When you have your results, your ‘friend’ is going to ask for a meet so he can pay you in cash. He’ll force you into a car, drive you into the desert, and kill you. That’s what he does.”

She pulled a red and orange Paisley tie out of her pocket. It was exactly the lawyer’s style.

“When you go to the meet,” she said, “wear this. I’ll take care of the rest.” She shook the tie. “When you go to the meet, wear this. Your life depends on it. Do you understand?”

The lawyer nodded.

“Say it,” said Steffie.

“When I go to the meet, I wear that tie.”

“Your life…,” Steffie prompted.

“My life depends on it.”

“Again.”

“When I go to the meet, I wear that tie,” the lawyer said hoarsely. “My life depends on it.”

“If word of this gets out,” said the lawyer, “I’m a dead man anyway. The lawyer client relationship is sacred. If I perform this service for my country — and of course I’m happy to do so — what’s the benefit to me?”

Steffie was silent for a brief moment. “First,” she said, “you’ll live.”

The lawyer gave a jerky nod. “Fair point,” he said.

“And,” said Steffie, as if she were offering a great treat, “you’ll have a whole new wardrobe of ties at the government’s expense.”

The lawyer looked a bit green around the gills, but jimmied a smile into place.

“Wonderful,” he said.

As Steffie rose,, he held up a hand and asked, are you any relation to a guy named Mike Ehrmantraut?”

Steffie gave him a dead-eyed stare and left.

MY PROMPT TODAY: Binge watching the last season of Better Call Saul.