I’m Baa-aack!

Didja miss me? I missed you!

HappydaleIt’s been a long, hard, week, my Sweet Little Baby Angels, but MomGoth managed to get back to you, though hell should bar the way.

Or, in this case, Bluehost.

Here, for your reading pleasure, is one of the Live Chats I had with a Bluehost “tech,” whose name I have replaced with the word Bluehost in order to protect the poor bastard.

Please bear in mind that this was the fourth or fifth time I had attempted to get help from them AFTER their database files wouldn’t import correctly to my new host.

Ready? Let us begin.

Bluehost Support Chat Transcript
3/2/2016 3:42 PM

[Initial Question] Provider: Bluehost – My Domain is: “marianallen.com” I need a full cPanel backup. I’m trying to move my site to MDDHosting and they need a full cPanel backup. I’ve tried downloading my databases and FTPing my public_html files and my mail files, but it isn’t working. I need for you to give them a full cPanel backup.

(12:53) [Bluehost] Hello, My name is Bluehost. Thank you for contacting support.
(12:53) [Bluehost] Could I get the last 4 characters of the cPanel password to verify ownership of the account?
(12:53) [Marian Allen] [redacted]
(12:54) [Bluehost] Thank you for validating.

(12:56) [Bluehost] To restore your backups, please replicate the steps given in the following link,

(12:56) [Bluehost] I mean to download*
(12:56) [Marian Allen] It doesn’t work.
(12:57) [Marian Allen] I get this message:
(12:57) [Marian Allen] There was an error:
need a backup type at /var/hp/my/cgi/bm line 274.
(12:57) [Bluehost] Then you would need to connect to FTP and try downloading the backup.
(12:57) [Marian Allen] I did that, and it didn’t work.;
(12:58) [Marian Allen] I downloaded my databases to a sql, and it won’t upload.
(12:58) [Marian Allen] I need for Bluehost to give MDDHosting a full cPanel backup.
(13:0) [Bluehost] Yo can download the database via phpmyadmin.
(13:0) [Marian Allen] Yes, I can, but it WON’T UPLOAD PROPERLY TO MDDHOSTING. Sorry for shouting, but I’ve been wrestling with this for days. Why can MddHosting not transfer my cPanel?
(13:1) [Bluehost] Yo can download the database via phpmyadmin.
(13:1) [Marian Allen] But it won’t upload to the new host.
(13:1) [Marian Allen] Why can MDDHosting not transfer my site?
(13:1) [Bluehost] I understand your concern. But unfortunately we cannot do the backup of your site you would need to do it from your end.
(13:2) [Marian Allen] You’re Bluehost, right? my hosting site? Of course you do backups.
(13:3) [Bluehost] Yes, we do backups. But you need to download the backup via FTP.
(13:3) [Marian Allen] Where is it, then?
(13:3) [Bluehost] You can download it connecting to FTP.
(13:4) [Marian Allen] Please let me speak to your supervisor.
(13:5) [Bluehost] I really apologize supervisor does not come in chat. You can contact via phone support if you wish to talk to him.
(13:6) [Marian Allen] Is there anyone there who knows how to transfer a site to another host? Because I know it’s a common task.
(13:8) [Bluehost] Yes, you just need to download the website files connecting to FTP client and upload it is new server.
(13:9) [Bluehost] To login to FTP, try these settings:
Server/Host –
Username – marianal
Password – Your cPanel password you use to login to the cPanel.
Port – 21
(13:9) [Marian Allen] Are you saying I need to download the contents of my public_html file?
(13:10) [Marian Allen] Or is there a specific file somewhere I need to download? If so, WHERE IS IT?
(13:11) [Bluehost] Yes, you need to download the contents of public_html.
(13:11) [Marian Allen] And what am I supposed to do with the database files that will not upload to my new host?
(13:11) [Bluehost] Please download all the files of public_html so that you can upload it in your new server.
(13:12) [Marian Allen] What does that have to do with my database files? Are they in there?
(13:12) [Bluehost] You would need to download the database via PHPMyAdmin.
(13:12) [Marian Allen] IT. DOESN’T. WORK.
(13:12) [Marian Allen] Are you playing with me?
(13:13) [Bluehost] One moment.
(13:13) [Bluehost] Checking with specialist.
(13:17) [Bluehost] How large is the database?
(13:17) [Marian Allen] I don’t know.
(13:18) [Marian Allen] I want MDDHOsting to be able to transfer my site to their server with a full cPanel backup from you to them.
(13:18) [Marian Allen] This should not be a problem.
(13:20) [Bluehost] But we do not do backup. You would need to do it from your connecting to FTP client and download all website files.
(13:21) [Marian Allen] My files are there. My databases are there. My account is there. Why can you not transfer it all to them? Do people never migrate their websites from one host to another? Please help me understand.
(13:22) [Marian Allen] I can’t do it myself. The database file causes issues when importing elsewhere.
(13:22) [Marian Allen] They need the full cPanel backup. If you don’t do one, how am I supposed to download it?
(13:23) [Bluehost] Yes, I understand what you are saying. When migrating from one server to other server it will be your responsibility to download website files and move it to other server we do not provide support on this.
(13:23) [Bluehost] You can download it connecting to FTP client.
(13:23) [Marian Allen] You’re telling me.
(13:24) [Marian Allen] But I can’t download a full cPanel backup. I get an error message. And I can’t export my databases because they export in a way that causes issues when importing.
(13:25) [Bluehost] Are you getting error in FTP?
(13:25) [Marian Allen] You’re just playing with me, now. It’s kind of funny, but I don’t really have time for it.
(13:29) [Bluehost] You said you are getting the error:
There was an error:
need a backup type at /var/hp/my/cgi/bm line 274.
(13:29) [Bluehost] Can you tell me where you got this error?
(13:29) [Marian Allen] When I go to the page you sent me to for the full Cpanel Backup and I click on Download.
(13:31) [Marian Allen] There is a space for a dropdown Backup selection on the download options dialog box, but it’s blank.
(13:32) [Marian Allen] Next to Type, I selected zip. I get the same error message when I select tar.
(13:32) [Bluehost] I requested specialist to create a backup for you.
(13:32) [Marian Allen] Thank you. When will that be likely to happen, how will I know when it happens, and how do I get it?
(13:33) [Bluehost] Usually, we dont do it. But I understand your concern and requested him to so it and he agreed to it.
(13:33) [Bluehost] After the full backup of your account has been completed, you will receive an email at the address that you specified (ma@marianallen.com).
(13:34) [Bluehost] Is there anything else I can help with for now?
(13:34) [Marian Allen] All right. Will the email tell me how to get the backup, or will it be attached?
(13:34) [Marian Allen] Do you have any idea how long this will take? I have clients whose web sites are down.
(13:36) [Bluehost] It depends on the size of the account. We cannot say timings. The backup will be in file manager, you just need to download it.
(13:36) [Marian Allen] What will it be called? Backup.zip?
(13:36) [Bluehost] home5/marianal .
(13:37) [Marian Allen] If I need further help, I’ll ask.
(13:37) [Bluehost] Okay sure.
(13:37) [Bluehost] Is there anything else I can help with for now?
(13:37) [Marian Allen] Thank you, and thank the specialist.
(13:37) [Bluehost] Sure.
(13:37) [Bluehost] If you don’t mind since I was so helpful could you please give me a favorable rating? Please note that a 10 is the best! It affects me on a day to day basis, it would mean ALOT to me! There is a survey after this chat closes, if you have a minute please do rate my performance. Thank you for contacting support and Happy Hosting!

p.s. It didn’t work. And I didn’t give him a favorable rating. I paid cash money to UpdraftPlus plugin. That mostly worked. I had to diddle and doddle with the plugins my own self to get them to move over and play nice.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character is driven half mad by something everybody says should be easy BUT IS NOT.



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “I’m Baa-aack!

  1. Dan

    March 14, 2016 at 7:43am

    It’s good to see you again. Sorry for the mess you had to get here. If you like this comment, please give me a favorable rating. It affects my ego on a daily basis.

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 14, 2016 at 8:03am

      Oh, my dear lord, Dan, I’m so glad to be shed of those wackadoos…. I didn’t go into the details here, because it was just too complicated and insane. And then and then and then my plug-ins wouldn’t unpack, even using the migration package, so I had to unzip them on my computer and FTP them. Then I had to find and correct the option of where to upload and subsequently find my graphics. Do you KNOW how ghastly it is that I, a writer, EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL THAT MEANS? lol

      Oh, your comment, as always, gets a 10 rating. πŸ™‚

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  2. Joey

    March 14, 2016 at 8:43am

    I don’t understand a lot of this, but I do understand you were gone 4-5 days, or I noticed you gone for 4-5 days, apart from an email I got reading “This is your new site” blah blah blah…
    I wouldn’t give him a favorable rating, either. Something about this Bluehost person sets my mind to images of donkeys in bonnets. Could be spring or lack of sleep on this DST day, but he might just be a jackass.
    Sorry for your suffering, glad for your return!

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 14, 2016 at 12:57pm

      SO glad to be back!!

      My guess is that the Live Chat people have a troubleshooting bible. People say, “I need a backup,” and the bible says, “download blah blah blah from bleh bleh bleh.” They can’t go beyond what’s written in their bible, because they aren’t really techs. The bible works MOST of the time, but this wasn’t one of those times. By the time I called a voice tech, I was so frustrated I wasn’t about to call back when HIS thing didn’t work. ~washing my hands of them~

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  3. Jane

    March 14, 2016 at 8:51am

    SOOOOOO glad to see you again!

    Reminds of when I tried to get into U of L grad school in the education department. I finally had one Dean tell me she didn’t know how ANYone managed to graduate from the Ed school.

    Naaturally, I sought other career paths after that.

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 14, 2016 at 12:58pm

      SOOOOOOO glad to be back! Let me know if anything’s wonky about the new installation.

      U of L seems to have a Thing about making grad school as difficult as possible. Cray-cray!

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  4. Nate Wilson

    March 15, 2016 at 8:47am

    Holy moly. Welcome back! Isn’t it great when tech support believes repeating the same thing over and over will eventually fix the problem? I’m amazed at how often they–

    (13:39) [Bluehost] Yo can download the rest of this comment via phpmyadmin

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 15, 2016 at 2:31pm

      LOL — Nate, you crack me up! I finally brute forced the migration. Still have some work to do, but I’m taking a vacation from it to work on taxes. That’s relatively stress-free, which should tell you something.

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  5. Tonya

    March 16, 2016 at 11:56am

    OMG – I’m switching away from BlueHost (for the day job) right now because of several other USELESS chat support experiences… I’m worried I’ll be replicating your transcript in a different way very shortly. πŸ˜›

    At least you’re back/up and running. πŸ™‚

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      March 16, 2016 at 1:15pm

      My advice is to switch to a place that does the switch for you. If they can’t migrate the site because of errors on the Bluehost end of things, you might have to do as I did and pay a third-party app or service to make it happen. Just don’t waste as much time and as many brain cells as I did (and am still doing). The site seems fine, but I still have to rescue my mail. All my emails. From years. Including bidniss. ~sigh~

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
      • Tonya

        March 16, 2016 at 1:20pm

        Luckily, we’re just migrating a new WordPress site, so… worst comes to worst, we just… start from scratch and I’m up and running in an hour. πŸ˜›

        Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      May 13, 2016 at 8:38am

      Thanks, Marco. Somebody already pointed me to reviewhell and I’m now EIG-free! πŸ™‚

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply

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