Here’s another bit from “Lonnie, Me, and the Hound of Hell,” the first story in LONNIE, ME, AND…. It’s also the first story in LONNIE, ME AND THE HOUND OF HELL, which is a collection of various animal stories of various odd sorts.

Holy Water

excerpt from “Lonnie, Me, and the Hound of Hell”
by Marian Allen

The phone rang in the middle of the night. I checked the clock: just a little before three. My heart thudded like it always does when the phone rings after ten. Momma? Grandpa? Mary Lee’s sister, changing her mind about her wallpaper?

It was Lonnie, whispering so Leona couldn’t hear him.

“Tiny? That dog is outside. He’s been out there, barking and whining and howling since dead midnight. I woke up and looked out the window and seen him down in the back yard. He looked up at the window here, and his eyes is glowing red!”

“That’s how dogs’ eyes do when the light hits them at night, Lon. Go back to bed.”

“How can I go back to bed, with that hell-hound prowling around out there?”

“Did Rocky ever come down out of the tree?”

“Yeah, he come down and come in, and he won’t go out. Oh, Lordy, I wish I’d never thought of that deal! Now the Devil’s gone and dumped this Beast on me that’s too mean for perdition! That’s what I get for rattling the Devil’s cage. It just serves me right. Oh, I am so sorry. Oh, what in the world am I going to do?”

I had my serious doubts that, if the Devil was going to dump a dog, he’d leave a note, especially not on paper, which is kind of well known for catching on fire. But Lonnie wasn’t in any state for logical arguments, so I said, “Make some holy water and sprinkle it around the doors and windows. He can’t get you, then.”

“Oh, yeah!” I could hear Lonnie thumping down the steps and wondered why he bothered to whisper. If Leona could sleep through that elephant stampede, she wasn’t likely to wake up if he yodeled, much less spoke out loud. Then he said, “Tiny?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you make holy water?”

“You take some water….”

“Yeah?”

“And you boil the hell out of it.”

~*~

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Or you can buy LONNIE, ME AND THE HOUND OF HELL, which contains the first Lonnie and Tiny story plus about nine other of my odd animal stories, for 99 cents.

A WRITING PROMPT BASED ON MY POST: A character calls another one in the middle of the night for advice.

MA