Hi, there! I’m Tipper Allen, and guess what? I’m the good one! Even Poppa says so! Chickie is his favorite (and I don’t care, ’cause Momma likes me best, and that’s fair), but even Poppa says she’s bad and I’m good.
Poppa says he feels sorry for me, ’cause I’m so good and she’s so pesty to me!
I’ll just be sittin’ around like this.
And Momma calls me, and I come, ’cause I’m good.
And I just be walkin’ along, minding my own business, and Chickie runs outa nowhere and jumps me!
Then she runs behind somfing and pretends she’s all innocent. But Momma saw. Poppa sees her, too.
And she eats ebbyfing! She’s always getting on tables, looking for people food to eat. Momma says that’s because Poppa gives her people food. He says, “I put it on a plate on the floor so she’ll associate food with the floor and not the table.” Momma says, “Uh-huh. How’s that working out?” Poppa says, “Give it time.”
So far, Chickie will even eat cauliflower casserole! Me, I won’t eat anyfing except my Blue Wilderness grain-free wif Duck. [Note from Momma: Not a paid endorsement.]
Chickie likes her own Blue Wilderness grain-free wif Chicken kitten food. [Note from Momma: Not a paid endorsement either, dammit.] But you know what she does? She picks pieces out and plays wif them before she eats! Me, I just eat. ‘Cause I’m the good one.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR ANIMALS: Are you a good one or a bad one or a mixed one?