Contains No Eels #Eggplant #Recipe #Vegan

I know, and long-time readers may remember, a post that says “Contains no eels” has always been about my science fantasy book THE WOLVES OF PORT NOVO. It used to be called EEL’S REVERENCE, and it never did and does not now contain any eels.

ANYWAY, I subscribe to The Woks of Life recipe newsletter, and saw this recipe in which eggplant substitutes for eels. I never et an eel, and I want to assure any eels reading this blog that you have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I would rather adopt you and put you through college than eat you.

I do eat eggplant, though, and with perhaps unbecoming enthusiasm.

The eggplant preparation is rather more elaborate than I favor (two steps), and the sauce was a non-starter. The sauce required ingredients I neither have nor could obtain IMMEDIATELY, which is when I wanted to make the recipe. So I was like, “Fuck that noise. I have a bottle of Kroger brand General Tso’s Stir Fry Sauce and I’m not afraid to use it.”

First, you steam the eggplant. Then you’re supposed to let it cool and slice it. So I sliced it and salted/peppered it and THEN steamed it. That took about 18 minutes, plus how long it took for the steamer to heat up.

Then you heat some oil and brown the eggplant on both sides. That took about half an hour, more-or-less, plus how long it took the pan to heat up.

Finally, I blopped some sauce on top of the eggplant, poured about 1/4-1/2 cup of water into the skillet, and let that all cook down until the sauce was thickish.

I think the slices were supposed to be thinner, but it is what it is.

The recipe said to serve it over rice. Guess what I did. Now let’s not always see the same hands. Yes, I did NOT serve it over rice. I also didn’t sprinkle it with sesame seeds, but that was because I forgotted. I served the eggplant over crispy noodles.

I told daughter Sara how good it was, and she looked dubious and said, “Did it still taste like eggplant?” Yep, she’s her father’s daughter.

A WRITING PROMPT FROM ME TO YOU: What do you think of eels? If you DID think of them, what would you think?



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

You may also like...

One thought on “Contains No Eels #Eggplant #Recipe #Vegan

    • Author

      Marian Allen

      July 28, 2021 at 8:39am

      I’m resigned to the fact that not everybody loves eggplant. As my mother used to say, “That leaves more for me.” 🙂

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
  1. circadianreflections

    July 28, 2021 at 9:02am

    That’s definitely got your spin on it. I’ve never tried eel either. Probably won’t for some time to come as there’s almost always something else on the menu I’d rather try.

    I tried making eggplant lasagna once years, and years ago…since it was just the once you can guess how well it came out. 😂

    Permalink  ⋅ Reply
    • Author

      Marian Allen

      July 28, 2021 at 9:03am

      Yechhh! I’ve tried it, too. Eggplant gives off too much water, and it’s too soft when cooked. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea, but they can have mine. Charlie used to like my eggplant Parmesan, and I like ’em just halved and grilled.

      Permalink  ⋅ Reply
      • Anonymous

        September 2, 2021 at 8:14am

        Marian, eggplant and zucchini are a two-step process when it comes to using them in a lot of Italian dishes, such as vegetable lasagna (and myriad others, if you want texture and not mush). I wouldn’t touch them for years any way other than fried, until I learned this.

        If you peel and slice them to your desired thickness, salt them to draw out the water, and roll and press them in dishtowels, they dry out nicely while retaining lots of flavor. A rinse with olive oil, and they’re good to go for layering, or wrapping, and so on.

        Permalink  ⋅ Reply

Leave a Reply, If You Ple-az

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.