I know, and long-time readers may remember, a post that says “Contains no eels” has always been about my science fantasy book THE WOLVES OF PORT NOVO. It used to be called EEL’S REVERENCE, and it never did and does not now contain any eels.
ANYWAY, I subscribe to The Woks of Life recipe newsletter, and saw this recipe in which eggplant substitutes for eels. I never et an eel, and I want to assure any eels reading this blog that you have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I would rather adopt you and put you through college than eat you.
I do eat eggplant, though, and with perhaps unbecoming enthusiasm.
The eggplant preparation is rather more elaborate than I favor (two steps), and the sauce was a non-starter. The sauce required ingredients I neither have nor could obtain IMMEDIATELY, which is when I wanted to make the recipe. So I was like, “Fuck that noise. I have a bottle of Kroger brand General Tso’s Stir Fry Sauce and I’m not afraid to use it.”
First, you steam the eggplant. Then you’re supposed to let it cool and slice it. So I sliced it and salted/peppered it and THEN steamed it. That took about 18 minutes, plus how long it took for the steamer to heat up.
Then you heat some oil and brown the eggplant on both sides. That took about half an hour, more-or-less, plus how long it took the pan to heat up.
Finally, I blopped some sauce on top of the eggplant, poured about 1/4-1/2 cup of water into the skillet, and let that all cook down until the sauce was thickish.
The recipe said to serve it over rice. Guess what I did. Now let’s not always see the same hands. Yes, I did NOT serve it over rice. I also didn’t sprinkle it with sesame seeds, but that was because I forgotted. I served the eggplant over crispy noodles.
I told daughter Sara how good it was, and she looked dubious and said, “Did it still taste like eggplant?” Yep, she’s her father’s daughter.
A WRITING PROMPT FROM ME TO YOU: What do you think of eels? If you DID think of them, what would you think?