No Contradiction Here Uh-Uh No Way #1LinerWeds

So Charlie and I went to the store, and we chatted with the checkout lady, and she said:

Lady: I broke the window on my car, and my husband will NOT let me be about fixing it. I’m not worried. I’m just putting it in the Lord’s hands.

I nodded and went, “Uh-huh,” and bit my tongue until the blood ran down my chin to keep from saying, “Good luck with that.”

Then the lady’s phone rang, and she said, just as if it weren’t FAF:

If that’s him, I’m gonna beat him!

I’m assuming she meant her husband, not the Lord.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.

A PROMPT FROM ME TO YOU: Write about a spouse riding another spouse about doing something. Or a partner of any kind.



I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “No Contradiction Here Uh-Uh No Way #1LinerWeds

  1. dan antion

    July 18, 2018 at 7:35am

    Ha ha – you never know who’s calling.

    My dad would say, “if you want to be an idiot, I’m sure the Lord is fine with that.”

    Remember the Janis Joplin song? I’m pretty sure the Mercedes she wanted had all its windows.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      July 18, 2018 at 8:10am

      I sure DO remember the song! Now I’ll have it stuck in my head. Unfortunately, it won’t be Janis singing it. When I was in college, I took a graphic arts class (I was the only female in the class — yes, it was a LONG time ago — and the teacher took me aside and told me I was doing the best work but was only going to get a B, because the guys were taking the class for their life work and I wasn’t — you could do things like that back then)…. I lost my place. –Oh, yeah: In this graphic arts class, one of the guys sang that song ALL the TIME, and he sang it in a deliberately cracked voice. Any time I get that song stuck in my head, it’s in his voice. 😀

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      • dan antion

        July 18, 2018 at 8:33am

        Ugh, I have a similar story…why on earth we were expected to understand stuff like that, I’ll never know.

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  2. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    July 18, 2018 at 3:19pm

    Thank goodness none of my teachers dared pull anything like that, even though I was the only female student in most of my grad school (and college) classes. They didn’t quite dare, I guess. When you sign up for physics, math, and engineering, they think of the few who did things, and maybe wonder if you will be one of them. Plus no one wants to be the one to tell you to leave. Other than one teacher who made a pass when he was drunk, they mostly ignored or neglected me.

    Ah, those were the days!

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      July 18, 2018 at 6:06pm

      Sometimes ignored or neglected is harder than being actively discriminated against. You have my sympathy. But I have a feeling you were strong enough to prevail in spite of them!

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  3. Deborah

    July 19, 2018 at 3:10pm

    LOL! Funny stuff!

    I’m pretty dense. I never remember any one liners to play along. You come up with good ones.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      July 20, 2018 at 7:24am

      I don’t have to come up with them; people just say them and I write them down. 😀

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