How Mean Are They? #1LinerWednesday

This one is actually mine. When #4 Daughter, the amazing Sara Marian, was little, we would walk over to Mom’s a couple of times a week to watch television programs we liked to see together. If we would be coming home after dark, we would take a flashlight or we would drive.

Sara said she was afraid of trees in the dark. That actually made sense, because you could walk into a tree and bonk your head or poke your eye out on a twig. I said I was afraid of ‘possums, which is silly, since they respond to perceived attacks by falling over and pretending to have a communicable disease.

“No,” I said. “Possums are fierce! Have you seen those beady little close-set eyes? And those sharp teeth?” Then I said–and God knows where this nonsense came from:

“They’d just as soon bite you as iron your shirt.”

That has now become my go-to phrase for anything threatening.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s weekly blog hop, One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner or just like them, follow the link.

A WRITING PROMPT FROM ME TO YOU: Write about something threatening in the dark.

MA

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About

I was born in Louisville, Kentucky, but now live in the woods in southern Indiana. Though I only write fiction, I love to read non-fiction. The more I learn about this world, the more fantastic I see it is.

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One thought on “How Mean Are They? #1LinerWednesday

  1. Dan Antion

    September 12, 2018 at 8:42am

    I love that saying, although…

    Possums must have a terrible ad agency. They eat everything bad in the world, and really don’t bother people. We have periodically had one in our yard. We always call her/him Polly. When our daughter was little, we used to leave fruit out for her so we could get a glimpse of those beady little eyes 🙂

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      September 12, 2018 at 10:16am

      OH, yeah, I love the possums for real! I don’t know how they’re so good at simulating rabies, since they’re practically immune to it. I’m always happy when I see a possum around.

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  2. pm laberge

    September 12, 2018 at 10:30am

    Makes sense to me:
    “No,” I said. “Possums are fierce! Have you seen those beady little close-set eyes? And those sharp teeth?” Then I said–and God knows where this nonsense came from:
    “They’d just as soon bite you as iron your shirt.”
    That has now become my go-to phrase for anything threatening.

    Avoid beady eyes. And besides the Beverly Hillbillies used to eat them as a stew.

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      September 12, 2018 at 11:15am

      I wouldn’t eat a possum; they’re too useful as detickinators. Although I’m assured that there’s good eatin’ on a possum. Hmmm, no, thank you.

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      • pm laberge

        September 12, 2018 at 11:20am

        I would not eat them either, unless I was desperate.
        Those beady little eyes, they follow you everywhere.
        If you eat one, the sight will nevver go away from you.
        I am a generous man. Jed and Jethro can have my possum!

        I’d write you a nice possum poem, but I am a baaaad poet.

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        • Author

          Marian Allen

          September 12, 2018 at 1:37pm

          A baaaad poet, eh? Bet you could write a great sheep poem, then.

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  3. Mitchell Allen

    September 13, 2018 at 12:41am

    Another great one-liner. All I know is, they sure do stink up the car after they’ve been in the middle of the road for a while…

    Cheers,

    Mitch

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    • Author

      Marian Allen

      September 13, 2018 at 7:50am

      Yes, I think that’s carrying playing possum just a shade too far.

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  4. Holly J

    September 14, 2018 at 9:43am

    I’m with you on those possums! They can be vicious little suckers. I had a stand off with a little female one night. She decided to stand guard at my back door, while I was out having a smoke. One look at those pointy fangs, snarling and hissing at me, and I almost tossed her the keys and ran! In the end, I played matador to her bull, and fended her off with a plastic WalMart chair.

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