MomGoth was advised by her friend Andrea Gilbey to buy Alexandra Sellers’ book, SPOKEN CAT AND RELEVANT FACTORS IN WORLDVIEW. MomGoth bought it.
It tells all about our language! It tells about our pronunciation, grammar, tonality, and even some of our religion!
If MomGoth studies this book, she’ll be able to understand everything I say, and I don’t know if I want her to. She understands, now, when I say, “I want to be fed,” and, “Open the basement door and turn on the downstairs light so I can not go downstairs after all.” That’s really all I care about.
If she studies this book, she’ll not only understand me, she’ll be mooching around trying to talk to me in cat, telling me corny jokes and making suggestions about how I ought to behave.
Fortunately, Ms. Sellers understands that it’s grammatically impossible to give orders to a cat in the cat language. Still, if anybody can make that linguistic breakthrough, it’s MomGoth. She’s the only person I know who can give orders in the form of a question. “You’re doin’ WHAT?” means, “Stop that this very red-hot second, or you’re gonna wish so hard you’d never been born.”
If that isn’t an order, it’ll do until an order comes along.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR ANIMALS: What do you wish your human understood or could say in your language?